At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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