He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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