I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
