Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
