a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
