shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
