dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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