Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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