Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
