i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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