you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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