New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
