Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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