so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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