Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
