I'm gonna have a badass scar
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
