fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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