Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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