i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
