I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
this hospital has no fireball
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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