stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
