He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
