roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
