I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We need to feng shui this bitch.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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