I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
