your room smells of hookers.
And success
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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