I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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