I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
