You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
