My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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