just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
