He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
