he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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