I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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