I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
