Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
