So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
