you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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