in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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