The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
