But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
