I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
