forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
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Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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