Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
