babies were throwing up all over the place
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
