Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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