Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
