i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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