i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
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omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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