I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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