is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
do nipples grow back?
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