Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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