i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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