covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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