i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
