Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
