If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
