Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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