If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize