last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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