I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
