she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize