10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize