I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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