Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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